I am most afraid of dying an unlived life.
Which is to say I am afraid of not living, trying things, doing things that scare me. I’m afraid of not using my talents or failing to live in my purpose.
So I am always exploring new ways to challenge myself, to try, do, and be more.
I am constantly asking myself ‘What am I here for?’
Sometimes it can feel like I am too preoccupied with this fear, like maybe I should just relax a bit and allow things to flow. But for me, to forget it is to run the risk of having it come true.
So I am always moving, doing, trying. Sometimes too much.
I recently concluded a year of mindset coaching, using Human Design principles, and I have learned so much about myself in that time. But the thing that stands out most to me right now in this moment as I’m thinking about my greatest fear, is the fact that I am allowed to just be.
This was a difficult lesson to learn, and admittedly, I am still learning it. This idea that I do not need to do anything to be worthy or enough. The idea that just as I am, I have inherent worth and value. Just as I am, if I never do another magnificent thing, I am still worthy of the love and acceptance I desire.
Now I don’t know how much of my fear of dying an unlived life is tied to a preconceived notion that I have to live a ‘full’ life for it to have been a worthwhile life. I’m beginning to think a lot of it. And I’m not sure what to do with that realization, beyond just sitting with it, as uncomfortable as it is.
The fear is real, and it is valid, but it does not get to determine the course of my life.